⑦→I FIND IT HARD TO TELL YOU/I FIND IT HARD TO TAKE

2008-04-13T02:13:12Z

Mary had a little bomb
Whose shell was black as coal
And everywhere that Mary went
Her bomb was sure to go
It followed her to school one day
That was against the rule
It made the children scream and cry
To see a bomb at school
And so the teacher turned her out
But still it lingered near
And waited patiently about
Till Mary did appear
"Why does the bomb love Mary so?"
The frightened children cry;
"Why, Mary loves the bomb, you know,"
The teacher did reply.

⑥→BYAJUMBOJET

2008-04-05T07:19:15Z

For those of you who can't tell that one and one and one is indeed three, yeah, my last post was a fucking joke. But go ahead and try to send the family condolences and fight over what I got, the lawyers would sure as shit fucking love it, yeah.

(I'm awake lately.

It's weird, yeah. Sasori's the insomnifag.)

67 hours, 53 minutes, 12 seconds, yeah.

(I either really just need to get laid soon or something's about the happen. Either way, it'll result in-) Heh. (Gonna go play. Better than this shit. I hate computers.)

⑤→I GOT MY HEAD CHECKED

2008-04-01T20:22:23Z

Dear world,

I hate you.

Cutting my wrists with the shards of my broken heart can no longer contain my sorrow.

My boyfriend~~s and girlfriends~~ abuse me and my soul is tormented with the blackness of my past.

Goodbye, forever.

XxXxXBloodyBlackAngelDeiXxXxX</3</3</3</3

④→YOU'VENEVERSEENTHELONELYMEATALL

2008-04-01T02:05:30Z

Image filled post describing the reasons I haven't been around yeah.

On the way to the bar.

Pretending to be a.. whatever the shit the shit those guys are called, yeah, to pick up hot chicks.

After I realized no straight chicks were around (HAHA, COULD HAVE NOTICED IT BY THE FACT THAT MAYBE THE ROOM WAS FILLED WITH A BUNCH OF FAGS AND IT SAID GAY BAR, YEAH. God I'm a retard.) and drowned my sorrows in vodka.

Don't know what the fuck was happening around that time. Too wasted to remember.

Passed out drunk.

I woke up a week later back at home and I was missing something important. (GIVE IT BACK SASORI, YOU SHITFACED FREAK.)

I doubt anyone missed me. How have your lives been going, yeah? I know Amsterdam > Whatever you have to say.

③ →私を締めるために私は待つことができない。

2008-03-09T14:56:41Z

Oh for the fucking love of God.

Some idiot tried to set off a Sparkler bomb while I was at the fucking store the other day and godwhatthehellyeah, it was so badly made the guy almost got his face burned off. The grocery store had to closed, so I went out the back door with my food and didn't pay for any of my shit. No one looked at me. It was kind of fucking refreshing, actually.

Sparkler bombs, as everybody I know for some reason calls them, are misnamed. They do not go bang. They go FWOOM. They do this because they are not confined - they’re just a clump of sparkers wired together. Yes, I do know that if you wrap them in tape or something, they'll go bang. You don't need to fucking tell me, I'm not a fucking idiot.

Anyway, they’re dead simple to make.

You’ll need a shitload of ordinary ten inch sparklers, the type you can buy at the supermarket in all right-thinking countries and the only readily available firework you can still purchase in Australia. A little demonstration device can be made with a mere hundred sparklers or so; 500 will give you a goodly whoosh; 1000 is, I’ve found, the break-even point above which you don’t get an increase in the effect that’s worth the extra money. If you’ve bought yourself a Standard Crate of 288 boxes, each containing eight sparklers, you’ve got the fixings for two lovely crowd-pleaser bombs and plenty of handout sparklers to give the drunks something to burn each other with, yeah.

The process of extracting sparklers from boxes - "husking" - is relatively slow and quite tedious. It is, however, tolerably interesting the first few times you do it and so you should recruit assistants from the crowd, stand back and supervise. Make sure the sparklers are piled up in an orderly fashion, all pointing in the same direction. Also make sure no dimwit decides to wave lit sparklers near the pile.

You will need two pieces of wire - the binding wires - to hold the bomb together. Any wire with the approximate characteristics of the wire in the middle of the sparklers will be fine; the usual strategy is to grab a half-dozen sparklers and burn them at a safe distance from the husking operation, wait for them to cool a bit, thump them on a handy rock to dislodge the ash, and twist their ends together so you get a pair of triple-length wires. Getting hit in the eye by bits of hot flying ash because you thumped too hard is optional.

During the husking process, PUT ASIDE A SPARKLER. This sparkler will be the fuse. You have to have a fuse. If you do not know why you have to have a fuse, please stop reading now and go away, for your own safety. If you do not put aside a sparkler, you will have to pull one out of the assembled bomb, and this will annoy you, yeah.

Now for the tricky bit. Sparkler bombs should be tightly packed to maximise the chain reaction of ignition, and this means getting all of the husked sparklers together into a cylindrical bundle, on top of the wires. If you’re only doing a small bomb this is a trivial task, as you can gather all of the sparklers together in one or at most two hands. If you’re doing an utterly titanic bomb, serious engineering ingenuity, sheets of newspaper, lots of friends and considerable profanity will be called for. I care not about your fucking problems, yeah.

The aim of the exercise is to get the abovementioned tight cylindrical bundle, with one fixing wire cinched around about an inch down from the top of the business end of the bundle - from now on referred to as the top; the bomb-to-be is presently lying down - and the other one just below the base of the burning stuff (as we professionals call it). The lower wire will want to distort the bundle into a cone open at the top, and it will also want to slide down to the bottom of the bundle. To avoid these two problems, make sure you fix the top wire first, and bend out a couple of wires from the bottom of the bundle to push the bottom wire upwards after you cinch it, the bottom wire, down.

Now for the painful bit. Invert the wired bundle, so the bare wires of the base are all pointing up. Bend all of these wires outwards, to make a plinth on which the bomb can stand. This is uncomfortable for those of us without thick calluses on our fingers, but no blood should be drawn. If you intend to set the bomb off somewhere where you can just stab it into soft earth or sand, you may omit this step.

Once the plinth is formed, flip the bomb the right way up, insert the fuse sparkler in the middle of the top so that a couple of inches stick out, show the bomb to the crowd and set off for the firing zone. The qualities a firing zone should have are as follows:

1. Groundcover you’re very attached to. The bomb will scorch a circle about a foot across on the ground, so it is suitable to set one off on, say, the local putting green. The bomb will also leave an indelible white blast-mark on non-flammable surfaces, so don't set one off on priceless mosaic tiling.
2. Overhanging trees, power wires or the like can catch on fire. If you don't want that to happen, go fucking somewhere else, douchebag.
3. Law-abiding neighbours who will get prodigiously alarmed and call out the National Guard when a Bloody Great Tower Of Flame erupts outside their bedroom window. This is not an unreasonable response. Running from the cops is half the fucking fun, yeah.

Light the fuse. Amble away - with a couple of inches of fuse sticking out, you’ve got plenty of time. If you do what I do, you stay close and stand a little bit of the burn, and considering you're obviously at least considering doing what I do by reading this far, I suggest it. Anyways, with experience you’ll be able to judge the appropriate distance; if this is your first sparkler bomb, you and everybody else should be well, well, back. Don’t worry. It’ll be spectacular from any distance.

Now the standard sparkler bomb ignition sequence will occur:

1. The fuse will burn right down to the level of the sparklers.

2. Some turkey will say "It’s not going to go off!"

3. After a short delay determined by how well you packed the sparklers, it will go off, and a large number of sparklers that would each burn for a couple of minutes will be consumed by the very fires of Hell in about one and a half seconds.

4. One and a half seconds later, the crowd will emit various pleasured noises.

The remnants of the sparkler bomb are not without their amusement potential. Right after the burn’s over, the clump of wire is best described as FUCKING HOT YEAH, and will be glowing white at its core. If a brave soul with durable shoes kicks it, it will emit an amusing shower of sparks and splay out into a sort of red hot hedgehog, which when cool the next morning is a very difficult object to identify. Various items can be dropped into a spent bomb and will burn, melt or pop according to their nature. If you set the bomb off on an asphalt surface, it will be soft enough for you to do a Tony Grieg impression and stab a car key into the road.

Beer poured on the glowing remnants of a sparkler bomb will produce an unpleasant cloud of steam. Urine deposited on the glowing remnants will produce a cloud of steam that makes beer steam seem like Chanel No. 5. It is up to you to stop drunks pissing on the sparkler bomb, if that’s what your circle of friends runs to.

... Ahaha- ANYWAYS.

Itachi. I got something for you. Come to my place if you want it. (You fuckin' do, trust me, yeah.)

And holy fucking hell Hidan. When the fuck did you get back?

② → 私はあなたの頭部がほしいと思う

2008-03-08T19:04:02Z

Если я находился в мировой войне 2, то они вызвали бы меня пожаром вертела. Als ik in wereldoorlog twee was zouden zij me spitbrand roepen. Se fossi nella guerra mondiale due lo denominerebbero fuoco dello sputo. 나가 세계 대전 2안에 이으면 그들은 나를가래침 불이라고 부를텐데. Se eu estivesse na guerra de mundo dois chamar-me-iam fogo do cuspo. 如果我是在世界大战中二他们会告诉我唾液火。Εάν ήμουν στον παγκόσμιο πόλεμο δύο θα με καλούσαν πυρκαγιά οβελών. Si estuviera en la guerra mundial dos me llamarían fuego de la escupida. 私が世界大戦2 にあったら彼らは私をスピトファイルと呼ぶ。Si j'étais dans la guerre mondiale deux ils m'appelleraient le feu de broche.

Medicated.

Drama queen.

(Narcissistic.)

It's coming, yeah.

(It's ready.)

① → 殺気立った

2008-03-04T00:01:37Z

倣出する
（イタチ）
爆発
（デイダラ）
実験
（サソリ）

White fucking rabbits, baby. (Every fuckin' where.)

I'm feelin' poetic. (Poeta sentio, bitches → I'm not a complete fucking idiot, yeah.)

I'm not feeling it much.

(Pot'll fix that.)

I'll be in the basement if you need me. (If you fucking do I'll rip your dick off and feed it to you. Even if you're a fucking girl.)